Sunday Night With John: You Deserve Better!

It might have been when we were on the beach of Lake Superior at the National Pictured Rock Shoreline. Or, it might have been when we were overlooking Ausable River in the Huron National Park. But, a calming feeling of earned happiness washed over me. It was a feeling everyone deserves to achieve, the feeling that life is freaking great. The truth is, those moments are fleeting because so many variables have to line up in the correct sequence for great moments to be unlocked. But man, that feeling, that moment, it is worth all the blood, sweat, and tears because for a second, a minute, an hour, or, if you are lucky enough, for a whole day, every bad thing that has ever happened to you, every little nagging doubt you have about yourself, and any uncertainty about the future falls off of you. And, for that instant, you experience the utter joy of knowing that life can be great, but more importantly, that you can be great.

We all deserve that far more often than we get to achieve it. Those doubts and fears about what we deserve play against what we have earned. We talk ourselves into thinking that we deserve less than others, that great moments and greatness are something only others get to experience. The simple answer is that these moments are not something only others get to experience. The hard answer is that, in order to get more great moments, we have to dare to risk--to risk utter failure, to risk hard work not paying off, and to risk making the leap from good to great and falling flat on our face.

The tough part for most people is that feeling good is a wonderful place to be-- liking life, being somewhat happy with who you are, and having moments that tug on the heartstrings just enough to remind you that some emotions fill you with joy. Feeling good can rock you to sleep and say, I’m good right here. If I risk trying to get better, I might not make it. Then, not only would I fail to achieve releasing the greatness in myself, I might lose this good spot I already have carved out.

And that was what my recent trek around the Great Lakes was for me, a chance to examine John Paul Derryberry, the public speaker. I have risked a lot to achieve a great life, but is this speaking adventure of mine at a spot where I’m not taking a risk? Am I stuck in the, “It’s good. But, that leap to greatness looks way too far,” mindset? Was I not following my own advice? Was I not leading by example? These are the two things I hate to see in other people. Was I settling for good moments because the hard work, the possibility of failure, and my doubts about myself, were interfering with my attempt to touch greatness?  As the sun faded behind the thick forest across the lake, as the moon took over the sky and the time with our last campfire dwindled, I realized, yes, Share Emotions, Emotions Matter was stuck behind my own fears, doubts, and, gulp, my settling for it being good not great.

So while I touched greatness on this trip about five different times, that greatness revealed one part of my life that needs work to reach its full potential. We all have greatness locked away within us, not by the world, but by our own selves, because we talk ourselves out of thinking we can achieve it. We stop applying for the promotion because we got turned down twice before. We accept dating someone we really really like, but it falls short of love because we are afraid we will end up alone. We don’t go back to school because it will be too hard. We drag our feet on adjusting our speaking message because we do not want to admit we branded it wrong. Greatness lies beyond those fears and I, for one, am ready to walk through my fear and doubts to see whether I have what it takes to become great. My dad used to have a saying, “You are either getting worse or you are getting better. Which is it?” Well Dad, it’s time to get better. John Paul Derryberry is going from good to great or I am falling flat on my face. What does that mean? At this moment, right now, being honest, I have no clue. But I have work to do. I deserve better. And for whatever great moment you are chasing, so do you!