Sunday Night With John: A Little Piece Of Me Died

For a long time I have prided myself on the ability to live light. In early December I successfully packed for a trip to New Orleans in under 25 minutes. I would have completed the task quicker but I had to make sure the suit I packed for the fancy dinner was packed nicely so it wouldn’t wrinkle. And when Anne and I moved into our new house I successfully fit all of my stuff in just one carload. I was 30 at the time, and most of my car was full of the Transformer Halloween costume I built. I spent way too much time on it to let it go that easily.

But last weekend was a different story.  Anne, Marv and I were headed to visit her family out of town where I also had a public speaking engagement.  I had to pack work out clothes, casual clothes, and professional clothes for the talk. Marv needed food, his kennel, some toys, and his bed. I ran around the house making sure I had everything. I even double-checked and I never double-check! Who was I becoming?  Where was the guy who grabbed a couple of things threw them in a bag and called it good? Where was the guy who only packed t-shirts because well, who needs more than a t-shirt? I was confused, dazed, and a little frazzled that my packing took close to 45 minutes. Seriously, what had happened to me?

Anne emailed on this fateful Friday to ask me how everything went with getting all of Marv’s stuff packed up over lunch. My reply to her just stated that I was sad and that I realized a little piece of me died.  We all go through numerous transitions like this in life.  We are one person one day and then a completely different person the next.  Some of these transitions are easier than others and we adjust without letting it bother us at all, while others cause major life re-alignments.  We all have parts of our identity that we strongly connect too. It could be that you’re a mother, a ball player, a teacher, a good friend, a funny guy, a sweetheart, you are outdoorsy, a tree hugger, a go getter, or you’re countless other things I can list here. The point is we all hang our hats (identity) on something.

The trick is to learn to be ok with who we are when we realize that we aren’t that person we once were and recognize the new person we have become.  I used to be a ballplayer, now I’m a runner. It’s so much easier to find time to run than to find time with 9 other guys to play a game of basketball. I used to be a guy with long flowing hair, now I’m bald guy with beard. I didn’t win the genetic hair lottery. I also used to be a guy who packed light and quick, now it takes me 45 minutes before I’m ready for a long weekend away. When I sat back and realized why that piece of me died it was all for good reasons. I’m public speaking more and in bigger venues. I felt the need to step up my professional dress game, (hello bow tie!). I hate to miss a work out so the work out clothes must come with, and our puppy, well he just makes life better all around. I held a quick moment of silence for the fore mentioned quick packing John Paul Derryberry and stepped whole-heartedly into the new me who has a wife, a family, a pet, and well, more stuff.  Sometimes things in us fade away so better things can find their place in our hearts, minds and souls. But I don’ feel so bad yet when I see people toting around their children; that look likes it takes days to go anywhere. If I’m lucky enough to become a father, I’ll have some practice at this packing thing, or maybe I just won’t go anywhere. Or even worse, maybe I’ll have to pack the day before going somewhere. That will be a tough day for me, a tough day indeed.