Same Yet Different

Same Yet Different

John Paul Derryberry

It’s late on a Saturday night, well late for parents of 8- and 7-year-olds who moved back into our house today. Exhausted,  my wife and I sit in our sunroom and watch the sun go down in the west and the river, elevated and fast-moving, to the north. It’s the same thing we have done since we moved into this house 7 years ago. While the house is being put back together, about 37% of the way there, I can’t deny that this time it’s different. It's been four months since we could enjoy a sunset together in our sunroom. A home improvement project forced a four-month temporary relocation. Last night was our first night back in the old-yet-new digs. It was a warm, exciting sunset to take in—back in a loving place, already baked in with great memories yet brimming with potential for what is to come.

It made me think about how many “same yet different” situations we go through in our lives and the effect they can have on us. I mean, most of life is going from one same-yet-different situation to another. The number of times I have run in a new town, new route, or new race. In one race, I ran fast enough to win by age group in a 10K; the next race, I ran faster and finished 6th. Same yet different, it would be easy to see one as a rousing success and the other as a failure. Yet they both felt like successes. Or the sheer number of basketball courts, teammates, and games I have played. They all end up having the same yet different vibes. Don’t get me started on the “Same Yet Different” number of cases I have in my professional career.

Not all are the same; different situations carry the feeling I had last night. Some have the here-we-go-again vibe that is discouraging, infuriating, and frustrating. Like working your tail off for a month to save up extra cash, only to have the car break down again and wipe out those savings. Lots of us experience numerous bad scenarios that feel the same yet different as we navigate life. It can feel like running on a hamster wheel. All that effort ends up putting us back where we started, and it can feel absolutely defeating.

I often think about those who somehow rise above and work through all the situations in life that are attached to this phenomenon. How they discover hope over and over again in such familiar settings. How they refuse to let all the doubt take hold in their thought process, and how they somehow manage to take the newness of a situation that feels so so mundane and spin it into a path of discovery. It’s a skill I wish more of us had. To remain hopeful, focused, and on a journey to discover even in old settings is what makes life grand.

After today’s work, I would say we are 52% finished putting the old-yet-new house back together. But honestly, we are not putting it back together; we are putting a new puzzle together, and we just have the outside pieces done.  Life is a lot the same yet different as we get older and wiser, and life slows down. Willing to re-invent in the places you already know is a vision I hope more people grab hold of and see the beauty most of us can create right where we are. As I gear up for chapter 2 of this house with my family, I’m in love with the same yet vastly different home we have. I hope mine and all of your same-but-different scenarios are filled with help, love, care, compassion, and dedication.  So yes, I find myself in the same yet different situation, and hopeful as ever, I’m right where I need to be.