Dear Little Ladies: The Long Way

Dear Little Ladies: The Long Way

John Paul Derryberry

Dear Amelia and Greta,

It's been another year, and it's time for another life tidbit you might want to follow someday. It has been so much fun watching you grow this year; from your different personalities to the unique times, you both choose to be brave or stay cautious. These little life lessons will come from all sorts of places and people over the years. So many people have excellent knowledge to pass on; never think you know it all. The first two life tidbits came from my mom and dad, your grandparents. This one will be the first one just from your dad.

The other day while you played with your uncle, aunt, and cousins in Decorah with mom, I left work a smidge early, jumped on my dorky, sparkled, blue, metropolitan scooter, and took a long way home. I weaved through East Park, down to mom's school, up to Music Man bridge, through my work's neighborhood, over and around the hospital neighborhood, and finally home. It was relaxing and freeing not to rush or finish as quickly as possible, and to enjoy the ride way more than the destination. In a world that constantly tells you- to go faster, get through things as quickly as possible, always move to the next stage of life, be brave enough to say, "I'm good going at my pace; heck, I might even slow down a little; maybe I'll take the long way to where I'm going."

See your dad, heeded the advice about moving through life as fast as possible. I was always trying to get to the next destination. They tell you that when you arrive, you will find joy and be able to slow down and enjoy it all. But some things happened along the way that revealed that if you take the quick approach, you miss so much along the way. Life doesn't happen at a certain age or when you reach a particular destination. It's occurring all the time. So your old man realized that when he found himself in a specific spot in life he was enjoying, he would linger instead of rush. It's why it took me five-and-a-half years to get my four-year degree. It wasn't because I wasn't smart enough to go faster. I was smart enough to know that it was the perfect time to experience this part of life.

I turned down promotions while on the front line because I wanted to master the front-line part. I still use more of my front-line staff skills than other skills, even though I now lead an entire agency. That long path to leadership mattered. It revealed some things about my style that I didn't know I had in me; mostly, how compassionate I can become because I take the long view. It was better not to rush it, even though I was sometimes impatient about things. Instead, I took to hiking to see nature's details and spend time immersing myself in my surroundings; to know I can take the long path and all the skills required not to microwave life. The best views in life are often at the end of the long way.

Even in my running, the long distances allow me to meander, see the sights, think random thoughts, and discover parts of towns, cities, and back roads many don't see. The short path will always be there when needed. And this isn't advice to take the road less traveled. Following a path already created with little resistance creates no harm in anyone's life. But there is harm in the speed at which society has decided to move. If I had taken the quick path, I would have never found your mom, she was at the end of a very long course, but it was the best path I walked.

And yes, there are points in life where you will want to take a short way, and you should. It's just those moments are few and far between. I guess the gist of this is: that life is short, making you think you must go fast to fit everything in. But, your dad has learned it's the exact opposite; if you take a long way, you'll find your life more full of adventure, excitement, joy, depth, and love. It's the only way to get to know people, places, and yourself in this high-speed chase almost everyone engages in at some point. So do yourself a favor; when the world tells you to take a shortcut, and it doesn't feel right, think of your dad. I made it right to where I needed to be in life by taking a long way.
Love,
Your Father, the guy who is not afraid of a couple of extra miles of fun to get to his destination.

Lesson two: https://jpderryberry.com/blog/dear-my-little-ladies-stand-on-your-own-two-feet

Lesson one: https://jpderryberry.com/blog/dancelittleladies